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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Not So Average White Band


Ever since Jimmer Fredette hopped on the scene and captured the attention of hoop fans and took the sports world by storm, I've smelled an underbelly of "great white hype" wishful thinking in the bellies of the white hype (media).

The media/white sports nation have been craving for a dominant, superstar NBA player to represent them since the day Larry "Legend" Bird unlaced his all-black hi-top Con's (Converse).

Some found solace in Dirk Nowitzki raising the Larry O'Brien trophy (NBA title) over the much hated and vaunted Miami Heat, but purists were quick to point out Dirk isn't an American bred, white native.

I even hear my Sports Writing/analyst/commentator hero Skip Bayless lament to his black counterparts on ESPNs "1st and 10" about the absence of a white protagonist NBA player.

Maybe that's why America (the media at least) likes to latch onto stories like the USA Men and Women's soccer teams. We all know soccer isn't too popular in this country, but let a team competing in some world championship/Olympic format composed of a vast majority white team, then they're the greatest thing since slice bread!

Well, that's where I come in, to keep things REALISTIC (no 'prisoner of the moment views', one way or the other). There may not be that one guy in the NBA, but Americans don't need to wait every 4 years for a glimpse of promising sports talents that are Caucasians.

I've concocted a list of 20 Caucasian athletes/sports-figures in the sports-world that are widely respected/PRAISED across the board in all circles, genders and races. Here's my Average White Band. Pick up the pieces!

20 Ryan Mallet: NFL rookie, qb, nice cocky swag and confidence.
19 Tony Stewart: you don't have to be a NASCAR fan to respect his gritty/confrontational/physical style
18 Phillip Rivers: exceptional, talented qb that trash talks with the best of them. He gets creative points for refraining from vulgar language.
17 Jon Gruden: even though I felt like he got credit and took a ring off of Dungy's finger, you've got to love his intensity, as evidenced on MNF and "Gruden's Camp."
16 Matt Ryan: A natural leader who came in Day 1 of his rookie year and commanded the respect from not only his locker room, but the city of Atlanta in supplanting Mike Vick and the whole controversy.
15 Brian Wilson: he reminds of a white Deion Sanders the way he promotes himself and profits off of his alter-ego. He has swag, his mo-hawk has swag, and most importantly, his beard has swag!
14bJimmer Fredette: Dude has the name, All-American image, and illy game. People doubt that will translate in the league, but I have confidence in him. The dude practiced dribbling in dark hallways and he plays pickup ball with prisoners. Lifers. Fleece Johnson and the Booty Warriors! lol j/p ("I like ya...and I woantcha...the chauce is yurrss")
14a Dale Earnhardt Jr: The son of a legend who allowed us in his personal world of turmoil when his father died. More than anything, Jr Keeps it Real no matter what. His Step-mom, his business plans, his race team, it doesn't matter. Jr doesn't filter himself and keeps it 100. Gotta love him!
13 Tony Kornheiser: The Ying to Mike Wilbon's Yang, Kornheiser complements Wilbon perfectly (and vice versa) like the Odd Couple in their hit show and my 2nd favorite ESPN show, "Pardon The Interruption." Also, he's an English major and the vocab in his lexicon is exceptional, especially for a sports show.
12 Brian Cushing: former rookie of the year in the NFL is a beast on the field and talks mega junk like a "brother."
11 Tim Tebow: for Christianity reasons and morals, juxtaposed with the leadership intangibles and incredible work ethic, probably "my favorite white boy right now." *50 Cent Voice.
10 Big Ben Roethlisberger: Despite being thrown under the bus recently by his teammate James Harrison and his off-field "transgressions", what's undeniable about Big Ben is that he's a champion, leader of men and possesses the "it" factor. Also, the perennial "team/we" guy.
9 Jeff Van Gundy: the former "BeetleJuice" of NBA coaches has transitioned / parlay'd his witty East Coast sense of humor and mixed it with candid, refreshing insight and opinion. "Vannnn Gundy!" *Wild West Cowboy Voice.
8 Josh Hamilton: tatted up. used to be in the drug game. banned from the league. Now is a multiple All-Star and MVP. If anybody can relate/appreciate a 2nd (and 3rd, 4th) chance, it's black people. I hope he does well psychologically following the fan death incident and doesn't shoulder too much of the blame.
7 Jerry Jones: hasn't won a SuperBowl in a minute, but is definitely the late great Boss Steinbrenner of the NFL (respect to Al Davis, he's just in the land of la-la now). Can anyone say Cowboy swag with a billion dollar stadium?
6 Mark Cuban: the Jerry Jones of the NBA. Has been on Entourage, talks ish, kicks it at the club with rappers/athletes, and he's a Champion! Bud Selig better wisen up and invite him to the baseball owner's party.
5 Clay Matthews: He looks like the Conan the Barbarian of the NFL, but don't let the gold locks fool you. Has had 10+ sacks every year he's been in the league, is a great sound-bite, interviewer, has fun playing and talks big junk! After sacking Mike Vick and laying on top of him, Matthews was heard saying "Mike Vick, what's up Baby?" That was a great moment in showing his admiration for Vick and letting him know, 'I'm a fast, fierce dude...I'm with ya!'
4 Aaron Rodgers: on my Jerry Maguire ish, he had me ever since he handled the Favre situation in such a classy manner. The production on the field put him as a top tier qb, his swag got him on my list. *insert "People's Champ" belt.
3 Peyton/Brady: Peyton has always done things by the book and is the prototypical pocket/thinking passer. Even in a crass world like this, that has to be rewarded. Brady is a wild, crazy boy (think headbutting Bledsoe in the hallway b4 the Superbowl vs the Rams), who's chip on his shoulder (6th round pick, 199 overall) has led him to greatness. Vintage "UnderDog" tale.
2 Rex Ryan: the Frank Sinatra of the NYC sportsworld right now, Ryan can do no wrong. His brazen swag and confidence has made him an honorary New Yorker.
1 Skip Bayless: Love him or hate him, he's at the epicenter of all sportsworld. He's like the gatekeeper, all sports opinion/subject matter must go through him to be dubbed as newsworthy and important; and anybody who's anybody follows him via twitter or his show (and my favorite) "1st and 10" including Lebron "Prince" James, Terrell "Team Obliterator" Owens and Chad "OchoStinko" Johnson. You may not always agree with the man, but you have to respect that he's giving you his candid opinion based on his consistent reasons/standards, and he then explains the method to his madness.


*Michael Phelps, Bryce Harper, Phil Jackson, Bret Favre, Phil Mickelson, Brian Urlacher and Tim Lincecum, John Mc Enroe, Shawn White, Justin Verlander, and Rob Drydek are definitely in the top 50 and probably the most glaring omissions.

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