MOTHERFucker: Sex Chronicles of Single Moms

*this generalization is for the mom demographic b/w ages of 18-39

M.I.L.F's (Mother Id Love to F_ck), Mother_ucker, hot momma or what have you, it's all the same. A preference on word choice to describe the very much desirable and sexually seductive woman who also happens to be a mom is up to you. The point is that in 2011 the modernized version, vision and image of the average "mom" has drastically changed from the days of Florida Evans, Mrs. Cunningham, Aunt Jemima or even your momma.

So before I go in, let me be specific. The drastic change I've noticed with contemporary "moms" is high sexual activity with partners other than the child's father. Of course times are going to change the woman; hence the different hairdo's, style of dress, etc. The one thing that consisted with the evolution of mom's in society was the preservation of morals and that wholesome image (*for the good "Betty Crocker" moms at the core). Nowadays mom's are looking younger and younger with a litany of intangibles that keep them looking that way (ie botox, music commonly shared with their children, and just flat out having more access to money). Why does youth have anything to do with high sexual activity? Because you're in your prime sexually and overall "hotness" in your youth. That's just my theory and the tip of the iceberg. You may be saying 'Dice, this ain't nothing new…mom's been getting it in for years. Hells, even your mom(s) were getting it in, you just didn't know. They were smooth about it.'

Well I'm glad you brought that up (lol). For anyone that really knows me, they know I have two mothers (This ain't football when you have 2 starting quarterbacks, you really have none---screw that). My birth moms and my Dad were divorced in 1981, shortly after I turned 3. Other then my brother's father, and POSSIBLY 1 boyfriend of 4 years, I'm pretty certain my mom wasn't intimate with anybody else during my early childhood. I'm not trying to air my mom's out like she was wack for not putting out or anoint her as some saint; I say that to commemorate and acknowledge her dedication and responsibility to her kids. During her single years, it wasn't no sneaking out during lunch(dbl negative intended for emphasis), going to the hotel for any meet-ups, or secret one-night stands after the club. Me and my brother were living in a one parent house-hold so momma wasn't playing with her money leaving work for some dude, or for that matter, she didn't have strange guys coming in and out of the house. I was a pimp! I was my mom's boyfriend (no Oedipus Complex). I knew her whereabouts at all times, her schedule, and she always came home every night solo. Any companionship she needed or jokes cracked, I was there. Even let her throw her legs on my lap after whork, in my mind thinking "you can chill ma, but I ain't rubbing your feet…it smells like you had a hard day!" lol Example A.

Also adding on to the formation of my definition and image of mom was Example B, my step-mom. My step-mom (*I ONLY say step-mom when my birth-mom is in the discussion and I must use distinction of the two) was a outstanding woman as well. She birthed two of the most fantastic and exemplary human beings I've ever met: my older brother and sister. Before my dad, my (step)mom was married before and always exhibited class. Now as time goes by and her and my father's career ascends, she's gracefully morphing into a Jacqueline Kennedy-O'Nasis who philanthropically helps people throughout the world, literally.

Did I lose you with my quasi auto-biographical review? I had to give you those examples to explain my frame of reference. I juxtapose those examples with the examples of today and it trips me out. It doesn't make me shake my head in disgust or look down on anyone, I'm just amazed at the progression or evolution. Because women have so much bread and more resources, it's nothing for a mom to "get it in." Resources meaning: #1 a degree. I'd say a majority of mom's in my generation didn't have a degree, because they were teenaged moms (it seems if you were a teenaged mom, you were doomed in regards to collegiate aspirations),so with that degree comes a good job and good money. Secondly there are so many after-school programs , baby-sisters, teams,clubs and other organizations kids are committed to, it's almost as if moms schedule their sexcapades around their kids itinerary! A big issue with mom's getting it in back in the day was the space and proximity factor. Space and proximity meaning unless you were that guy, the mom wasn't bringing you around her house or her kids. In present day with kids being absent the house so often, that major problem is relatively alleviated. I don't have direct experience with postpartum depression as a result of not having a baby's mom or wife, but I'm sure it has something to do with it(for new moms at least). Is the mom battling herself to prove she still has it? That she still provokes a certain response from a man, that she still commands sexual attention? So with those questions prevailing in her head, is that why she's hitting the gym so hard, wearing the heck out that "freak-um dress", and willing to cut her hair short or dye it another color? That definitely has to play a part. And as previously mentioned, I really believe this music (hip hop and contemporary R and B) and television overall has something to do with it. If all you're conditioned to see and hear in the media is the promotion and emphasis of irresponsible sex, it's gonna directly or indirectly affect you. But that's just my Psychology 101 Dice Freud hypothesis, nothing more.

So where does that leave us? The same place where we started at the beginning of this blog: Moms are getting it in. And I'm not mad at ya'll. I'm not a feminist but I'm also far from a sexist. I celebrate single sexy moms, and if you're taking care of business (kids, bills, not hurting anybody) then I salute you. Why do guys only get to have all the fun and glory? I must admit, I've had "fun" with a few mom's back in the day (that makes me a "mother_ucker"), but that's not my preference. Obviously not because they aren't capable of getting all glam'd up and sexy; but because of me. I think about the possible lil Dicey at home waiting for his moms, or thinking his moms is at bible study while she's really getting slayed up by me. With that said, I feel compassion for the invisible, never met before "lil dicey" and I fall back. Dicey loves the kids!…but it's really not them. It's just protecting and preserving that image of mom's I have engrained in my mind that I don't want tainted. But don't get it twist; Halle, Reagan Gomez, Sarah Palin (for vindictive, political reasons and Tracy Morgan)if you're reading this, get at me (giggity). Kourtney, Nivea, and Kendra…. well, ummm, ehhhhhhhhh.