Dice Presents: Delusional Deaths and Farcical Funerals

                                                       

It's the white elephant in the back of your subconscious.  The inconvenient truth of our mortality is something we grapple with passively or pro-actively.  Some of us are content with our fate ("when its your time to then its your time to go") while others obsess over it...maybe not to the lengths of Tupac where we're dam near prognosticating our untimely demise and how it will happen BUT obsess over it, nonetheless.

With that said I'm sure everyone has done this:  Imagine your own funeral.  You want to know how it will turn out----who's life have you affected enough that they will come out and show you love?

If you're like me then you've had visions of grandeur in how your homecoming would unfold.  I want the effect of my departure to be a mixture of Biggie's and Dr. MLK Jr's homecoming where my loved ones in all major cities swarm the street in tear dropping melancholy and disbelief which inevitably leads to me having a national "hood holiday" in memoriam.  The vision continues.

Upon entering Ford Field in Detroit (there was no church in America large enough to host my homecoming considering the SuperBowl/AllStarGame hysterical demand and requests to attend---the Lions game was also suspended as a result) you see thousands of people congregating and fellowshipping with each other.  Droves of people jostle for position to form lines designed to pay their respects to my family, while "The Godfather" anthem dramatically plays in the background, emphasizing the magnitude of the moment.  I can see people now kissing my old mans pinky ring on bent knee..."My condolences 'DiceFather', your boy was a shining light in this dark world, he will be sorely missed. We'll never fully recover, we'll just have to learn to deal with it."

Suddenly the man is cut off by a video tribute being played on the Lions' big screen Jumbo Tron.  It starts off with a montage of my childhood pics and continues with various soundbites and highlights.

The tribute is concluded and there's an 8 minute pause of subsequent weeping, crying and emotion permeating throughout the crowd.  One by one, family members come to the stage and speak---Momma, Momma-Cia, Diddy, Donny, Mwat', Mai, Layla (she makes the crowd laugh when she re-enacts our signature tiger roar), Auntie, Karl, Kevin, Anthony, Jerry, Grandma, Piggy and all other family members who can momentarily suspend their grief and summon up enough courage to give their two cents for ole Dicey Dice.

Only because of time and logistics (shout out to "Junior" BG, "Fruit" T Smooth and the rest of my 313 crew, Gerald, Kedar, and Kam) but the homies Low-P, Troop and Flippy Don speak on my behalf while providing comic relief and exclusive insight to my life. Thanks for giving the mood a much needed and refreshingly new dynamic.  Steve I know you'd hold me down too but I don't want you to stumble on your words and Lim, my "Prestige" Hugh Jackman 'frienemy', Im not sure what terms we'll be on at that point. It must go without a hitch!

Of course the world's most beautiful women in the world are there (comprised of fans, celebs,friends, family and my ex flames, "wouldve been/shouldve/couldve been flames"---memo: you shouldve gave me the buns when I was alive).  Some will speak, others will just serve as eye candy, highlighting and reminding my guys that I was always in company of beautiful women.

Ironically, said chicks that I didnt "get with" in person, are so impressed with my classy homecoming and how eloquently my life was described that they get with some of my best friends.  Great.  I'll be posthumously living vicariously through my friends.

On a good note,however, my old man ends up writing my biography and an additional book highlighting the importance of fathers and sons fostering a relationship.  I live forever as the true Legend of Dice.

But I digress. Or should I say delusionally dream?  Recently I told a close friend of mine then if he'd ("he" in general, meaning any of us 'commoners') die, that aint nobody gonna think about him...in regards to people pro-actively treating his life like a movie or book; trying to investigate and unravel layers of fabric that defined him as a man and glorify him.  I told him 'if we want to live forever and be remembered, we have to do something extraordinary and big.'

We laughed about that until the recent and senseless, tragic killing of the Chicago Angel Hadiya Pendleton.  The whole nation felt her loss, and before the nation did, the city of Chicago did.  Hadiya was a student of my aforementioned friend, who's also a CPS teacher.  Before the whole nation caught wind of what happened, my friend was stricken with grief and mentally damaged.

My friend told me she was the sweetest little girl ever and was special.  He also told me authorities found her laptop and personal notes so contradictory to what I said, someone will probe and investigate her life.  Her story will continue.  Hell, even Kobe Bryant tweeted about her.  So yes, someone is and was thinking about a commoner...

So now I guess the lesson I learned is this: you don't have to be a "hero" to be remembered and appreciated.  As long as you have a good heart and tried to please God, you are a hero.  And that sounds like everyday people....The "everyday" person who continues to maintain and do the right thing through God is the hero. Because of that, they will love ("Freudian" slip), umm "live" forever. And that's not delusional at all.  That's real.

Scribble Scrabble: The Passion of Dice

With all due respect to my certified and esteemed laureates and astute wordsmiths alike who serendipitously come across my page, forgive me.

My dear scholars, even if happenstance did not lead you here and in actuality you were coerced to read my blog by me via twitter posts or harassing you via text, again my apologies.

Im sure you feel as if every time you come to my page you're in essence dumbing yourself or playing down to your competition if I can use a sports analogy.

The great Morehouse and acclaimed English professor Dr. D. Stephens is rolling in her figurative grave whenever I misquote Shakespeare or inaccurately refer to one his plays.

There isn't enough digital red ink Dr. Rahming could splatter on his screen to correct my unconventional forms of grammar.

Dr. Janis, my former brilliant W. African novel professor, would be proud of my conscious tone to my credit.

Man, where is Robert Graham, Tony Starks, James Cammon or my whole former "Lit(erature) Set" where I need ya'll?  Yeah it says my name on my degree but I'd be the first to admit 15-20 others deserve to have their John Hancock on that piece of paper. My ish should look like the Constitution, frankly.

But don't crucify me if I'm missing a gerund where it's appro po.  I get it if my technique efficiency isn't that efficient, try to focus on the content…no matter how confusing it maybe! lol

For all you experts in prose or poetry I know my work is like scribble scrabble compared to your Picasso'esque magnum opus', but you know what?  That won't deter me from expressing myself.

As a good friend infamously once said, "I will not be silenced in this mug!"  I'm still developing my voice and day by day the texture of that voice is strengthening and appealing to different ears.  

I appreciate my audience.  And to my colleagues, contemporaries and mentors, I'll try better. Just be patient.

"The Learned Extrovert"

"I rolls Dolo from State to State!"

So I was watching one of my shows during my Sunday lineup (you know, your "Animations Dominations", HBOs,Showtimes,etc) when a line stuck out to me during a dinner scene.  A woman was on a first date when she explained to her male companion that she was a "learned extrovert."

Im paraphrasing but she basically said she had to teach and sometimes force herself to get out of her comfort zone and integrate herself socially more.  That resonated with me.

Most people won't believe it but Im terribly shy.  Speaking in public or to strangers is something I dread.  Because Im a spin master who subscribes in theories of "Fake it til you make it" and "never let them see you sweat" I flip the script and channel that energy into the moment.

NFL Hall of Famer and wide receiver Jerry Rice used to say he played scared which in turn helped him elude defenders bent on taking his head off.  If Im not mistaken Beyonce created her pseudonym, Sasha Fierce, in order to deal with her stage freight---and yes Im secure with my manhood to make a reference to Beyonce.  If Kobe's moniker, "The Black Mamba" is based off the femme fatale character in Q. Tarantino's "Kill Bill" then why cant I make that leap?  And besides if I was comparing myself to a chick, Id compare my wit, dry humor, attention to details, and awareness of the bigger picture to that of "Hannah" from 'Girls'...but that's another story.

Getting back to my social phobias I recall when I did the sports segments for my old man's radio show. Whenever we'd wrap up and I was in my solitude, Id fall asleep from being so drained. I don't know what kind of numbers the show was doing as far as ratings but it felt like I was speaking to a million people that I couldnt see but they could see me.

When it comes to everyday life Im the ultimate loner.  I hate small talk because I feel that ish is forced or phony...but sometimes small talk is appropriate because you have to keep it light.  Truth be told I can be very idiosyncratic and anal at times for certain things but to me its about respect and protocol.  For example, if company comes to my crib, who says 'hello' first? Me, the person who's house it is...or the person coming over?

Also if you call me and I pick up, that means Im available so what's up?  Don't judge the texture of my voice by asking me whats wrong.  Did you call to probe me or speak? State your purpose.

One thing I need to get better at is meeting new people, specifically being open to meeting male friends on the strength of mutual male friends---pause and no "Home Alone."

To say I have reservations with that maybe a little strong but Im apprehensive with that because as a loner, you want to have as less friends as possible, not more.  And me being the don that I am, a lot of cats like to play pissing contests.  Im 30+ years old, I don't care about being popular, FaceBook friend numbers or InstaGram/Twitter followers.  With that said, as long as I have more followers than I follow, Im good!

That man law mentality is cool in most cases generally but you do have to make exceptions for the homies.  I have two close friends who have friends that have a little buzz behind their name.  One is a ball player and the other is on televison.

My two mutual friends have bigged me up so much and said good things about me to the point where I should have interacted with them somehow.  At those scenarios have definitely presented themselves and when they did, I made myself unavailable for whatever reason.

It comes off as if Im being bogus or Im too good, but it's not even like that.  Again it comes back to me being a loner.  If I ever want to realize my blessings, destiny and future I must learn to embrace what comes with that.  Sometimes that entails being publicly available and pleasant.  Hey be patient.  The title says "The Learned Extrovert" but Im still learning.

He Who Is Like God: Mystique of Michael

                                                           

The Hebrew meaning of the name "Michael" translates to be "Who is like God?"  Its a rhetorical question that insinuates that no one is like God. But why choose the name "Michael?"

A friend of mine pointed out to me that any name w/ the 'El' suffix has God in it i.e. Samuel ("God listens") or Raphael ("God has healed").  But those names dont suggest narcissistic blasphemy as does the most beautiful and polarizing male name ever, "Michael." So again, why choose "Michael" to bear that meaning?

In Revelations 12:7 of the Holy Bible, it says "And there was war in Heaven, Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back."

Wow, thats a big responsibility right there, for the Arch Angel Michael to be handpicked by God to fight Satan?!?! From the beginning of time until now, the name "Michael" has been revered and reserved for the greatest of humans.

The late great Brooklyn poet Notorious B.I.G said it best on 'Victory', "Raw nights I perform like Mike, anyone Tyson, Jordan, Jackson."

For now, let's replace 'Tyson' with 'Dyson.' As in my old man.  Im not going to get sappy or biased like I did at an UVA writers camp in '95 when I wrote an homage to the old man entitled "Big Poppa" (to borrow from Big again). Im just going to state the facts while using Jordan.  Different career yet the only person qualified enough to compare.

Last week I was watching NBA-TV's tribute to Jordans 50th anniversary by broadcasting his past videos ("Come Fly With Me", "Above And Beyond," etc) and I got caught with a massive amount of emotions,epiphanies, nostalgia and respect at looking at Mike as an adult.  As an adult, theres a host of intangibles and nuances I can appreciate that totally went over my head as a kid.

But thats another story.  As I watched Mike do his thing, the words from a good friend of mine ran through my head: "When I see Michael Jordan, I see God's work being done."

That statement in itself is totally loaded.  Do you see "God's work being done" through creative style, unimaginable heights attained or through his passion?  It's probably all of that and then some.

Those qualities are exactly what I see in my old man and what he does.  Ever since I can remember my old man modeled himself, specifically his WORK ETHIC to Michael Jordan.

It's so crazy because growing up I would see this dichotomy my Dad had with MJ.  Not to be specific, but lets just say I learned how to separate a man from his career because of how the old man viewed Mike.   That's because while the old man criticized some off his court moves, he always gravitated and marveled at Mike's work ethic.  Mike would spend countless hours in the gym or come back from the summer with a new move.  For my old man, he'd go into his office with a haircut, then disappear for a month, coming out his study with a beard a new book.

In one of the videos Jordan said he was never nervous because he was always prepared.  That has to be why my old man has nerves of steel.  In all of the years Ive witnessed my Dad speak somewhere, the moment is never too big for him.  Why?  Because he has a detailed 100 year history of the people and venue he's speaking at.  Preparation.

When I told the same friend from earlier that Jordan reminds me of Mike because of his work ethic (never mind the comparison of wherever my old man goes, hes usually the smartest, boldest, brightest, most charming, knowledgable, humorous, insightful and intuitive person in the room like was the best player on the floor for every game), my friend asked, "What is your Dads 63 point game?" I took a pause and retorted, "Probably Thugs Angel."

Even though he's written several critically acclaimed intellectual books and made countless scholars bow down and look foolish when they challenged him, I had to go with the Tupac documentary.

Pac is/was global and a delicate, fragile subject to deal with. He meant so much and so many different things to so many different people.  But the way my dad deconstructed that beautiful rose that grew from concrete, it has to be his shining moment.  People to this day often refer to that documentary and said it was awesome.

You're probably confused right now. What was the point of this?  Whats the thesis? This blog spiraled out of control.  Just know this, then.  People named Michael are usually special, and right now the most special Michael has a last name that is 5 letters and starts with the letter 'D.'

This blog started by asking rhetorically, "is Michael like God."  When it comes to academia and anything scholarly, Im definitively saying Michael is like God. Good day.

Madden Matrix

    After roughing up my friends consistently and taking their money in Madden 2013, I recently had a dream:  square off against the best Madden gamers in the country and walk away victoriously. When I awakened I was convinced it was time to branch out and expand my talents.  I randomly went online seeking local tournaments yet again and again my search didn't render any results.   But like Morpheus in "The Matrix," Atlgamersociety.com found me and invited me to his upcoming Madden Tournament on January 28th. It wasn't quite a white rabbit, but our e-mail correspondence sufficed and my journey to become "The One" began.

     The scene on that Monday was the realization of the vision I had. It was a dimly lit room with only the bright lights of digital figures emulating from the flat screens.  Heavy baselines and melodies that glared from the speakers in the room would inevitably serve as hype music for Madden battle. 

     

     Men of different walks and long travels gathered that night in Atlanta with desires to capture the big money  prize.  With an online, pre registration fee/$10 extra at the door, gamers also had the option at side betting,personal cash games, and "buy back ins." In one scenario, there was a $400 game being played with a $100 sidebet that coincided.  Cats came in the door with envelopes entailed with hundreds, they weren't playing around! #Stacks

      As much as I would love to play Neo and be the hero in this story, I didn't prove to be "The One" that night. "Charley 25k",affectionately dubbed "Kaepernick" from an Alabama "Madden Crew" inevitably won the whole thing. 

     Losing always sucks but I cant say I didn't have a good time. The ambiance at this undisclosed Madden location was awesome and comfortable which really makes it conducive for a gamers inevitable success.  To say the competition was good would both be an understatement and testament to my 21-6 loss (Beware, there were a lot of same team matchups i.e. "SF vs SF." And I lost my game due to a "hold bowl" so each possession is imperative).

     There weren't too many console issues, with the one guy who preferred XBox360 using his 360 controller via the PS3 converter.  All in all it gave me chance to see what awaits me out there and what I need to work on.  I'll be ready next time, when in March it'll be TENTATIVELY a $100 entry fee for a chance at $2500 guaranteed.  If you're interested, click on the link below to Atlgamersociety.com.  Enjoy the highlights and see you in March if you're nice.

Video Hilites and Tourney Info                          Video Hilites and Tourney Info                    Video Hilites and Tourney Info

     

Reverberations of N-Word: Indirect D'Jango Blog

Dr. Michael Eric Dyson thoughts on "D'Jango"

"If my book you do not read, please do not attempt to make me bleed." That's a short and truthful statement but yet, Im still I'm going in! 

First and foremost, this blog is not an attempt to criticize the content of the movie in regards to the plot, the way it was shot cinematographically, the graphic violence or the the depiction of slavery. 

Im focusing not only on the elephant in the room ("N" Word) but how that elephant STILL continues to inflict tremendous pain to a great deal of people considering its historical connotation.  In addition, I primarily want to focus on the 3 glaring subtexts in the midst of the DJango hoopla: 1. Spike Lee 2. Ramifications of using N-Word 3. Replacing N-Word (the theory, dynamic, connotation) with another group or faction. 

NIGGER

Yes, you may have progressed in regards to the usage of the word.  Yes, you may have the power to devalue its meaning and not let it define you; but for some people, its a sensitive issue.

Why is it sensitive? Oh I don't know, maybe some black folks were around in the '60s before black opulence was prevalent and recall the German Shepherd attacks, the savage water hosings and merciless beatings all the while having "Nigger" yelled at you. 

But the Civil Rights era is just one nefarious example of racism blacks have endured in the Afro-American diaspora.  It's a trip because in 2013 it seems cool to distance yourself from any semblance of black pride or integrity if you're black.  If you feel insulted, don't say anything because you don't want to be labeled as the militant Black Panther.  Just get over it,sit back and assume the position...and be the example as always.  Let lessons be learned, pride damaged and lives lost always at our expense.  Screw that!

Spike Lee

Refer to the second paragraph of the "Nigger" title and apply it here. That's the sense I got from Spike when he made the comment about respecting his ancestors.  

If people in Newtown, Connecticut chose not to go to the local gun show, it would be understood. No one would say "Aw, you have to go in the building and see the guns, or meet the gun dealers before you diss the gun show." No! They don't care about none of that because last month their kids and colleagues were slain by guns. That's where Spike is coming from. The "N Word" is like a gun to his ancestors. A gun that that's been on his ancestors back for hundreds of years, not just last month.  

How is that a knock to Quentin Tarantino or the movie? He's not boycotting or imploring folks not to see it. My interpretation was that of homage to his ancestors more so than hate for Tarantino.  

I hear a proud black man who is armed with a wealth of knowledge and history of his people and is confident in that knowledge.  But the Spike Lee critics hear a jealous and hating director, mad because he didn't make the movie. First of all, the chances of a Spike Lee taking a movie of "D'Jango's" ilk and getting it green lit is little to none and if Spike wanted to criticize or hate on a director/movie, hes done it before. Ask Tyler Perry. (I concur w/ Spike as well, I don't advocate the minstrel show or "shucking and jiving.")

All of the Spike hating, at least to me, falls under the umbrella of my aforementioned statements/theory of contemporary blacks distancing themselves from anything that could connect them as being black proud, conscious or willing to defend your culture.  "Oh Im gonna show everybody Im so progressively 2013, Im going to show the world that I dont side with  blacks when it comes to mainstream issues, so screw you Spike, you lost! Tarantino makes better movies then you." Knock it off.

Ramifications of N-Word 

As I said all along, before the movie even came out, my biggest fear of  "D'Jango" would be the ramifications of using if not glamorizing such an explosive word over 180 times.  

No, I didnt think it would have a negative instant impact a la the Rodney King trial in '92, which provoked the subsequent riots.  My concern that it would be a slow killer, like the silent and undetected cancer cells that Doctors initially miss.

1. When the movie first came out, several people told me they heard whites and non-blacks not only laughed at scenes in the movie that were meant to be funny when using the N-word, but also at times it was used in a berating or serious tone.  That's a negative reverberation right there. Small, but still beginning seeds of a neo-racist perception.

2. Say what you say about Katt Williams. Yes he maybe crazy with questionable credibility, but his recent transgression at a shopping store doesn't sound too far-fetched to me. In short, Williams allegedly assaulted an employee for hurling a racial epithet at him.  This is where the story sounds too plausible. Katt said 'Katt, why can't I call you a nigger?  I hear you say it all the time.' Another negative reverberation.  

3.  Even before the movie came out, we remember Gwyneth Paltrow catching heat for rapping the lyrics to "Niggas In Paris." People gave her a pass because they said she was just singing the lyrics to a song. Ok, I havent seen the movie, but are you going to be okay when youre at work and your white boss is reciting a racist soliloquy from the movie? Will he get a pass for his "nigger this, nigger that?" recitation b/c Leonardo DiCaprio said it?

Most people don't own the art of discretion and discernment , timing and tact for this to work out. Just don't do it!  But Hollywood and Rap is making it hard for the non-whites, I actually feel for them. It's confusing.

FAGGOTT

I am sooooo not homo-phobic, and like my homie reminded me and eloquently said, my "...argument is not that we should use the word 'fag'....it's that we shouldnt be tolerant of the N-word...."  Absolutely, but sometimes you have add drawings to your words for people to clearly see your picture.

The only world I could of that is as explosive as the "n-word" was faggott. If everyone is don't trip about "nigger," then lets imagine a movie that was produced based on 2 gaye lovers that were violently separated...then one of the gaye lovers fights the whole town to capture his gaye lover in the end and during the movie, the word "fag" or "faggott" was used 186 times.

Do you think it would be the same reaction?  I remember when Eminem said "fag" in a rap song and then Elton John and the rest of gaye nation was on his ass. But it's a problem for some blacks to react that way who are sensitive and intolerant of the 'n-word?!?!' That's not fair, just or equal...And that's why I have a problem.