Scribble Scrabble: The Passion of Dice

With all due respect to my certified and esteemed laureates and astute wordsmiths alike who serendipitously come across my page, forgive me.

My dear scholars, even if happenstance did not lead you here and in actuality you were coerced to read my blog by me via twitter posts or harassing you via text, again my apologies.

Im sure you feel as if every time you come to my page you're in essence dumbing yourself or playing down to your competition if I can use a sports analogy.

The great Morehouse and acclaimed English professor Dr. D. Stephens is rolling in her figurative grave whenever I misquote Shakespeare or inaccurately refer to one his plays.

There isn't enough digital red ink Dr. Rahming could splatter on his screen to correct my unconventional forms of grammar.

Dr. Janis, my former brilliant W. African novel professor, would be proud of my conscious tone to my credit.

Man, where is Robert Graham, Tony Starks, James Cammon or my whole former "Lit(erature) Set" where I need ya'll?  Yeah it says my name on my degree but I'd be the first to admit 15-20 others deserve to have their John Hancock on that piece of paper. My ish should look like the Constitution, frankly.

But don't crucify me if I'm missing a gerund where it's appro po.  I get it if my technique efficiency isn't that efficient, try to focus on the content…no matter how confusing it maybe! lol

For all you experts in prose or poetry I know my work is like scribble scrabble compared to your Picasso'esque magnum opus', but you know what?  That won't deter me from expressing myself.

As a good friend infamously once said, "I will not be silenced in this mug!"  I'm still developing my voice and day by day the texture of that voice is strengthening and appealing to different ears.  

I appreciate my audience.  And to my colleagues, contemporaries and mentors, I'll try better. Just be patient.

"The Learned Extrovert"

"I rolls Dolo from State to State!"

So I was watching one of my shows during my Sunday lineup (you know, your "Animations Dominations", HBOs,Showtimes,etc) when a line stuck out to me during a dinner scene.  A woman was on a first date when she explained to her male companion that she was a "learned extrovert."

Im paraphrasing but she basically said she had to teach and sometimes force herself to get out of her comfort zone and integrate herself socially more.  That resonated with me.

Most people won't believe it but Im terribly shy.  Speaking in public or to strangers is something I dread.  Because Im a spin master who subscribes in theories of "Fake it til you make it" and "never let them see you sweat" I flip the script and channel that energy into the moment.

NFL Hall of Famer and wide receiver Jerry Rice used to say he played scared which in turn helped him elude defenders bent on taking his head off.  If Im not mistaken Beyonce created her pseudonym, Sasha Fierce, in order to deal with her stage freight---and yes Im secure with my manhood to make a reference to Beyonce.  If Kobe's moniker, "The Black Mamba" is based off the femme fatale character in Q. Tarantino's "Kill Bill" then why cant I make that leap?  And besides if I was comparing myself to a chick, Id compare my wit, dry humor, attention to details, and awareness of the bigger picture to that of "Hannah" from 'Girls'...but that's another story.

Getting back to my social phobias I recall when I did the sports segments for my old man's radio show. Whenever we'd wrap up and I was in my solitude, Id fall asleep from being so drained. I don't know what kind of numbers the show was doing as far as ratings but it felt like I was speaking to a million people that I couldnt see but they could see me.

When it comes to everyday life Im the ultimate loner.  I hate small talk because I feel that ish is forced or phony...but sometimes small talk is appropriate because you have to keep it light.  Truth be told I can be very idiosyncratic and anal at times for certain things but to me its about respect and protocol.  For example, if company comes to my crib, who says 'hello' first? Me, the person who's house it is...or the person coming over?

Also if you call me and I pick up, that means Im available so what's up?  Don't judge the texture of my voice by asking me whats wrong.  Did you call to probe me or speak? State your purpose.

One thing I need to get better at is meeting new people, specifically being open to meeting male friends on the strength of mutual male friends---pause and no "Home Alone."

To say I have reservations with that maybe a little strong but Im apprehensive with that because as a loner, you want to have as less friends as possible, not more.  And me being the don that I am, a lot of cats like to play pissing contests.  Im 30+ years old, I don't care about being popular, FaceBook friend numbers or InstaGram/Twitter followers.  With that said, as long as I have more followers than I follow, Im good!

That man law mentality is cool in most cases generally but you do have to make exceptions for the homies.  I have two close friends who have friends that have a little buzz behind their name.  One is a ball player and the other is on televison.

My two mutual friends have bigged me up so much and said good things about me to the point where I should have interacted with them somehow.  At those scenarios have definitely presented themselves and when they did, I made myself unavailable for whatever reason.

It comes off as if Im being bogus or Im too good, but it's not even like that.  Again it comes back to me being a loner.  If I ever want to realize my blessings, destiny and future I must learn to embrace what comes with that.  Sometimes that entails being publicly available and pleasant.  Hey be patient.  The title says "The Learned Extrovert" but Im still learning.

He Who Is Like God: Mystique of Michael

                                                           

The Hebrew meaning of the name "Michael" translates to be "Who is like God?"  Its a rhetorical question that insinuates that no one is like God. But why choose the name "Michael?"

A friend of mine pointed out to me that any name w/ the 'El' suffix has God in it i.e. Samuel ("God listens") or Raphael ("God has healed").  But those names dont suggest narcissistic blasphemy as does the most beautiful and polarizing male name ever, "Michael." So again, why choose "Michael" to bear that meaning?

In Revelations 12:7 of the Holy Bible, it says "And there was war in Heaven, Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back."

Wow, thats a big responsibility right there, for the Arch Angel Michael to be handpicked by God to fight Satan?!?! From the beginning of time until now, the name "Michael" has been revered and reserved for the greatest of humans.

The late great Brooklyn poet Notorious B.I.G said it best on 'Victory', "Raw nights I perform like Mike, anyone Tyson, Jordan, Jackson."

For now, let's replace 'Tyson' with 'Dyson.' As in my old man.  Im not going to get sappy or biased like I did at an UVA writers camp in '95 when I wrote an homage to the old man entitled "Big Poppa" (to borrow from Big again). Im just going to state the facts while using Jordan.  Different career yet the only person qualified enough to compare.

Last week I was watching NBA-TV's tribute to Jordans 50th anniversary by broadcasting his past videos ("Come Fly With Me", "Above And Beyond," etc) and I got caught with a massive amount of emotions,epiphanies, nostalgia and respect at looking at Mike as an adult.  As an adult, theres a host of intangibles and nuances I can appreciate that totally went over my head as a kid.

But thats another story.  As I watched Mike do his thing, the words from a good friend of mine ran through my head: "When I see Michael Jordan, I see God's work being done."

That statement in itself is totally loaded.  Do you see "God's work being done" through creative style, unimaginable heights attained or through his passion?  It's probably all of that and then some.

Those qualities are exactly what I see in my old man and what he does.  Ever since I can remember my old man modeled himself, specifically his WORK ETHIC to Michael Jordan.

It's so crazy because growing up I would see this dichotomy my Dad had with MJ.  Not to be specific, but lets just say I learned how to separate a man from his career because of how the old man viewed Mike.   That's because while the old man criticized some off his court moves, he always gravitated and marveled at Mike's work ethic.  Mike would spend countless hours in the gym or come back from the summer with a new move.  For my old man, he'd go into his office with a haircut, then disappear for a month, coming out his study with a beard a new book.

In one of the videos Jordan said he was never nervous because he was always prepared.  That has to be why my old man has nerves of steel.  In all of the years Ive witnessed my Dad speak somewhere, the moment is never too big for him.  Why?  Because he has a detailed 100 year history of the people and venue he's speaking at.  Preparation.

When I told the same friend from earlier that Jordan reminds me of Mike because of his work ethic (never mind the comparison of wherever my old man goes, hes usually the smartest, boldest, brightest, most charming, knowledgable, humorous, insightful and intuitive person in the room like was the best player on the floor for every game), my friend asked, "What is your Dads 63 point game?" I took a pause and retorted, "Probably Thugs Angel."

Even though he's written several critically acclaimed intellectual books and made countless scholars bow down and look foolish when they challenged him, I had to go with the Tupac documentary.

Pac is/was global and a delicate, fragile subject to deal with. He meant so much and so many different things to so many different people.  But the way my dad deconstructed that beautiful rose that grew from concrete, it has to be his shining moment.  People to this day often refer to that documentary and said it was awesome.

You're probably confused right now. What was the point of this?  Whats the thesis? This blog spiraled out of control.  Just know this, then.  People named Michael are usually special, and right now the most special Michael has a last name that is 5 letters and starts with the letter 'D.'

This blog started by asking rhetorically, "is Michael like God."  When it comes to academia and anything scholarly, Im definitively saying Michael is like God. Good day.